My schedule got all moved around because this week I reported for and was actually selected for jury duty.
Haha. What are the chances right?
I've been terrified at the idea for quite some time now, as I have a phobia of attorneys. But somehow in the past I've always escaped the selection process. This time I showed up with ear phones and my text book ready to write a paper and listen to my newly crafted Christmas playlist.
I was called in the first group and never weeded out!
Having watched 12 angry men in a high school government class and possessing a relatively high appreciation for our right to fair trials, I reluctantly continued half irritated that I'd have to rearrange my schedule and kind of excited to be a part of the system.
And then the actual selection process began. Where you describe yourself to a room full of strangers, give your opinions on crime, current events and your families background and also listen to the other 40 people's answers too. Out of the 45 of us being questioned, approximately 12 had been previously arrested or convicted of a crime! Additionally, of each individual asked directly about their opinion in regards to recent events in Ferguson, less than 12 were actually aware of those events. I found it interesting that based off of occupations represented we probably could have built an aircraft or survived the zombie apocalypse but more people in the room knew about zombie apocalypses than about the riots across the U.S. or the law itself that governs our land.
At first, I felt like a student taking it all in-the jargon, the line of questioning, the judges instructions-and then throughout the rest of the afternoon I felt afraid knowing that so many morons exist and drive and reproduce here in San Diego. Harsh, I know.
So we returned a second day and dove right in to witness testimony in a case that started with j-walking. We heard hours and hours of examination and cross examination, further cementing my general loathe for attorneys:)
I listened to two grown men argue and persuade and dazzle with their words and felt irritated each and every time they told me what to think or how to think it. At what point does their own ego match begin without any consideration for the actual defendant? The third day we actually got to begin deliberations. This was my favorite part. Not even being sarcastic! 12 strangers locked in a room. Now I have definitely played board games more complicated than arriving at a logical verdict, but never any so interesting or with strangers. The system itself is beautiful, even when frustrating.
Seeing how people judged my ability to reason and logic based off of my pink frilly shirt and current occupation was quite funny. Listening to people painfully express their opinions, hesitations and confusion was so slow and so great. It's kind of crazy to look at things in light of the law. The law itself is vast,and so, gratefully , the judge narrows down what is actually applicable to our decision making and then leaves it to our conscience. The law doesn't leave very much wiggle room. Even when given the benefit of the doubt in so many scenarios, it catches up with you. Lawfully, all that is required for a guilty verdict is that twelve strangers agree that the defendant committed the alleged act and that it was done so willfully. In this case, after a fourth day of alternate jurors and heated deliberation we all came to a verdict. He was guilty. We all agreed this entire event was stupid and could have been handled better, we all wished differently and expressed sympathy for the defendant whose life we undoubtedly altered now that he has a misdemeanor on his record (the charge was actually a criminal charge because it escalated from a j walking citation to resisting arrest) and we all left sad and having looked the poor dude in the eye and report "yes, I find you guilty".
It broke my heart. I was excited to leave and get back to work and excited to finally be able to talk freely and all day if I so choose, but hard knowing that I'm leaving a crying mess of a grown man guilty before a judge because of my ability to follow logic.
The system is beautiful because it was actually very difficult to come to an agreement amongst ourselves even over such a minor offense. The system is beautiful because it changes the jurors too. And it's even more beautiful because the judge stands beside our verdict but rules and sentences in reality and in accordance to the law. A pretty cool dichotomy.
God is the ultimate judge for us, just like Tupac said. He is a far better judge than the honorable and fair-eyed man with the silly bow ties who presided over our court today.
God saw the need for justice. He knew the full extent of my guilt even without a jury to decided and orchestrated Christmas instead of sending me right off to hell. How amazing is that? This week in jury duty, I was pointed again the truth that adults are just big preschoolers, fighting the same fights in different guises! I was also saddened by people's inability to logic, freaked out by how much crime and filth there is outside the bubble I occupy and bored to death by every lawyer's egotistical soliloquy! But most of all...even in the off-chance that I was on a week long jury, God was reminding me of His goodness toward me. Of His saving plan to redeem us all so that we can experience eternal Christmas! Of the true nature of advent that baby Jesus was born to satisfy the law, to take the wrath, to die...for me.
I was also blessed to get to go see Wicked tonight! If you're curious if it's worth all the hype? It's even better! No fan-girling (even mine) will do it justice. It nearly brought me to tears and I hope I dream of it tonight as I sleep! Which I must go and do now, two energetic little boys will be waiting to make Christmas crafts with me way too early in the morning and I couldn't be more excited!
One last thing about Wicked, everything about it was perfect. How is that for a helpful description? The vocals were amazing, but one song that I enjoyed (probably the most) was this:
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