Disappointment vs. Truth

  Today I ran off to my lunch. Excited at the prospect of being the one to find the coveted lavender lipstick that my friend has been wanting (that isn't even on amazon). They didn't have it. And Starbucks was closed for renovation. It never occurred to me that they could be closed. And I found my lunch to be very disappointing. I cried all the way back to work, realizing just how disappointed in life and myself I am. I don't know what quite came over me.Tears seem to spill out of my eyes as if a small child were carrying two very fully buckets of water. I sobbed in my car for another 15 minutes before fixing my makeup and returning to work.

So, Today was full of disappointment and doubt and emotions that I have no clue how to navigate.

I clung to Jeremiah 32:38-41

"38 And they shall be my people, and I will be their God.
39 I will give them one heart and one way, that they may fear me forever, for their own good and the good of their children after them.
40 I will make with them an everlasting covenant, that I will not turn away from doing good to them. And I will put the fear of me in their hearts, that they may not turn from me.
41 I will rejoice in doing them good, and I will plant them in this land in faithfulness, with all my heart and all my soul."

  I've always wondered what it must have been like for Jeremiah (or any of the prophets really) to receive such hope and face such doom. They must have felt a little bit insane.Today I feel that. I have hope and I am desperately holding on to it and yet each moment ahead I face with a type of doom- doom that I earned every ounce of, but doom nonetheless.

  Making this song my prayer tonight..

  And choosing to be the type of adult that eats sloppy joes for dinner just because it's summer...Coming up with my own seasoning blend has to count for something though, right?