humbled by ministry

Today a friendly old man at Starbucks told me to enjoy my youth and my dominance as a woman with charms. I am not altogether sure I even know what that means. He tried to explain it in terms of me growing old and weak and dying before my male counter parts. (who knows!) But not only did it make me laugh, but it reminded me of a new change in my life. In terms of youth and "dominance" ( which I choose to interpret as the Lord placing me in authoritative and influencing positions).. I was invited to speak at my church's fast approaching Women's retreat. Try not to judge me, but absolutely nothing sounds relaxing about a convention of church ladies at the smelly hot springs of the grossly hot Murrieta campus. I thought it was a joke at first and instantly dismissed the opportunity to minister to the women of my church, when God gave me a heart check. I've always joked about "church ladies". I cannot relate to them. you know this if you read my post called "church ladies". I sometimes can't understand their power trips or tactlessness or heightened need to emote all the time. My personal favorite (not) is when they bully each other via living vicariously through their teenage kids. so attractive in an adult. NOT. Ultimately, I never had a godly mother to guide and direct me and I have always intently observed the behaviors and attitudes of the women in my church. In so many areas I see their hypocrisy and sin and failures. While that is fact and harsh truth, the Lord has truly challenged me with the gospel. Who am I to judge their sin, to feel disgust and coldness toward them simply because they struggle in their humanity. How am I any different from the qualities I can't stand about them if I am not willing to speak love and truth and the Word of God to them? who am I to chose who I minister reconciliation to? Who do I think I am to consider myself too good for this, or too logical or practical or young. I am still processing this. I truly do believe God has a sense of humor. a big one. I will in fact be speaking at the Women's retreat the last weekend of March, where Lord-willing and Lord-empowering I will speak the full truth of His Word on Hope. Its funny how God can change a heart from low key disgust to burdened for their souls and deeply in love with them over night. I'm humbled and think that I truly will continue to be. The beauty of the Gospel, is it is for us sinners. It gives us cause to celebrate and motivates us not to just love God back but to love others, even "church ladies". Perhaps I'll have to find a different term. Pray for me to have the Lord's heart in ministry. To be continually humbled by His grace for THIS sinner in a way that motivates me to truly love the saints. I am thankful that He doesn't let me continue in my sin, but challenges me and guides me to be renewed by His great love for me in Christ on the cross.