Tonight I heard an amazing sermon on Matthew 12. It was preached by a very humble, gentle, Jesus-loving friend of mine. And it was a sweet slap to the face. It was the text on the sign of Jonah and the illustration of demon possession immediately following it.
The text that says that while the ninevites only had Jonah and the Queen of Sheba only had Solomon- we have Jesus! And He is better! And His sign to us is his death on the cross defeating sin and his resurrection three days later defeating death itself.
This makes my soul stop in awe at the truth that Jesus is better!
This seems to be a reoccurring theme in my life. With every want, lack, change, abundance or dream- Jesus is better! I know it's true and I believe it's true, but no sooner than driving out of the church parking lot did this truth get called into question.
It started out with a feeling.
A feeling of aloneness, which of course is different than solitude which I enjoy. Aloneness, a sinking tugging at my faint little heart that reminds me that I am single, nobody wants me, I'm more likely to be the punchline of a joke than wonder woman oh yeah, and I have no one. Yes, this quickly went from a feeling to a pity party. Tears joined the party. The party was paused long enough for me to order and eat my food,my hanger nay have ceased, but by now far worse than a feeling, or even a pity party was a lingering thought- is Jesus really better?
What happened? In the span of my 8 minute drive home I went from rejoicing in the death and resurrection of my Lord to questioning His sufficiency?
You see where this hits home for me is in the moments of aloneness that I encounter, in the face of the weights and sins that so easily ensnare me- is Jesus really better?
Lets call it like it is... Is he better than having a husband and three kids and not having to get up at 6 for work tomorrow?
Cause it seems obvious that He is better than falling asleep alone in my tiny bed at my parent's house feeling completely pathetic and unaccomplished...but is He better than having my own family and home or career or calling or legacy? Do I believe this truth to that extent?
Because when I do- it ends the mysterious struggle of discontentment. It runs away from a simply religious outer exterior. It flies in the face of self-pity. It frees me to rejoice and give thanks! It comforts my soul, it secures my joy, it highlights my hope and longing for heaven and brings peace to a crazy mind.
So while I yet remain alone,tired, sore, not looking forward to the work week and at a loss for why God even loves me, my head hits my pillow assured that Jesus is enough, that he's faithful when I am faithless and that He will continue to love me in a way that I can't fathom and its a good thing.
Jesus is better. He is. It's true and he's offered himself in your place to save you and he offers himself to you right now. So regardless of what thoughts linger in your mind, whatever emotions come in tsunami-like torment, remember the cross and the empty grave. Remember that He is better, more than enough, completely sufficient and yours.
Lord, I believe, help my unbelief!
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