Hula hands

When I was younger I did competitive hula. So I practiced with my halau (hawaiian team/dance troop) twice a week. once with my age group and once with the whole family of us. Let me tell you something, you did not miss practice and you did not slack off.. Or else! Auntie Donna, our leader/teacher/mom-figure, was strict and intense and severe. She didn't mess around and so neither did we. I remember one time laying back with both knees bent behind me in a stretch for at least five mins all the while holding my pee so she wouldn't restart our time or find a more creative way to stretch us (stretch, torture..same thing). I loved her, but phew! She scared the living daylights outta me. One time while working on our hula hands, we were holding our arms out to practice correct posture (looking over the rainbow to your finger tips). She would walk through the rows of us and adjust things we were doing wrong. I felt fear as she walked toward me. I could hear her correcting the other girls and I remember thinking "if so and so's fingers aren't bent enough then there's no way mine are" and so, I'd bend mine more too. As she went down the line something funny would happen, I would attempt to correct in me all the things she was calling out in others. I'll never forget the one time she stopped looked at me and said "you look hilarious!" She had caught on to my trick of over correcting. You see, I feared being corrected so much that I would change everything I was doing preemptively until I just looked ridiculous.. Anyone would... if they bent their fingers more, but times five for the people in front of them too. This taught me something about myself early on.. A couple things actually.
1. I'm a people pleaser
2. I love rules!
Unfortunately it has taken a lot longer in life to learn:
1. Living in fear of failure or correction is stupid
2. Constantly changing to please other people will leave me looking just plain hilarious.
The years I spent in hula were good years (even though i cant even hula hoop now).I got to compete all over CA. I got to perform in wonderful costumes and share in my lovely heritage. I learned perseverance, family and the beauty of my culture (because it really isn't the food so much).. But something the Lord has had to work out of me, to this very hour, are my people-pleasing ways! I just want everybody to be happy (and like me and love me and appreciate me and want more of me). Harmless right? I've been thinking and while I know that God is who I live to please, I've also noticed that my primary prerogative should be for people to see Jesus in me and know I've been with Him. So that when I leave a room they don't just smell the lingering scent of my Chanel Chance but the very fragrance of God.
That's my prayer starting off this long week, that I will spend time with Jesus and that that's what others will see and value in me. It will certainly free me up to not be on eggshells for fear of failure or paralyzed at the thought of someone being unhappy with my decisions and ultimately, it will, by His grace, bring His name glory!
Proverbs 3:26
"for the LORD will be your confidence and will keep your foot from being caught. "

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