flustered future, and pre-trib rapture prayers...

I have a lot of really cute, well- articulated thoughts written out in a pepto-pink moleskin just dying to be transferred to this blog.I do. but let's forget my writing ability and valuable life lessons in the mundane and be real for a second..
WHAT SHOULD I DO WITH MY LIFE?
Am I called to a life in ministry? Do I want to pursue missions as a career?
Am I really suppose to actually revolve a life plan around the mere hope of a spouse and kids and adorable house with cute door knobs? or is that just baggage at this point?
What degree of what I "want" or have "desire" for actually matters within the scope of "living in the will of God".
Is it right to assume that ministry, or "that standard of the impoverished missionary" as my dad would call it, is what God's calling me to?
Is it biblically okay to assume that I am called to anything other than missions?
Could I be happy with just a job to pay the bills? When someone tells you "you're called to more than that" what the heck does that mean?
If I am presenting my life as a sacrifice of adoration to God while I work at Taco Bell and really just hope to pay rent is that actually less godly than being a poor pastor's wife just hoping to pay rent?
Is it even less godly to be a wealthy Christian serving Christ and making bank?

There is a horrible imbalance in thoughts of what kinds of careers are godly and spiritual(or what that even means). There's an even more horrible pull on my life in both directions when really I don't care weather I am in Tibet or making 40 grand here as a nurse or being a wife and a mother that disciples and loves and is frumpy as ever!I want all of those. and at the same time, I want NONE of those because I am not convinced that anyone one of those directions alone is satisfying, cause ultimately I know I can only be satisfied by Christ. Not a noble cause, or a great career,especially not a lot of money, or even a family.
It's so easy to sit in classes and soak in knowledge and DREAM of the possibilities.
But what do I actually do? What do I put my hands to? When do I walk away from some dreams? Where do I apply?
ya and I dont even know if I am 100% convinced of a pre-trib rapture anymore, but I am currently (and very selfishly) praying for one at this exact moment.
Any suggestions?

Advice is welcome, scripture is encouraged and prayers are greatly appreciated.